Few thoughts

The topic has been in my mind for quite some time but now I felt it is apt to disclose it. Another rape occurred in India and people are shouting for justice for the victim by suggesting capital punishment for the rapists. I am not surprised at all as ALL Indian women are raped several times either physically or by eyes or by words. Since my childhood I remember being touched, pushed, groped and fondled several times in the road/bus/train/cinema hall/book fair/ auto rickshaw /taxi. I am one of the lucky few to be safe at home with relatives. I had friends from school who are physically or sexually abused by their relatives several times. Now let me divulge the response I get when I disclosed my situation. I still remember I was very young studying in class-IV and travelling by train with my mother. One friendly gentleman offered me to sit by his side near the window in the crowded train. I was delighted by my luck but it was one of the worst assaults I endured considering my age...

I grew up in a home where my dad happily does household chores right from preparing food to cleaning clothes/pots & pans. He would be the one who take us to the doctor and take care of us when anybody is sick. In fact being the younger one I would get the best cut of meat, fish and sweets over my brother. I was raised to question everything around me against unquestioned obedience. One of my dad’s favorite phrase is – Age does not mean wisdom, so never give unquestioned obedience to anybody because he is elder to you. I grew up to be a rebellious independent girl who believes everything is equal for men and women. The first blow comes from my mom who started searching for a groom for me when I am 21 years. At the beginning I argued with her and she stopped me saying “You will never get married against your wish; I am just helping you to make the right choice”. I stopped because I believe I should know how to handle any situation. One afternoon she suddenly declares that some g...

                     After a long time I was going to stay with my in-laws and that also in my own den. At the beginning I was apprehensive and to some extent scared. It is really unbelievable that anything can scare me. But I was scared of the unknown territory my in-laws belong to. The illogical views which are not supported by facts but rather intuition and total submission to age old traditions. I had a discussion with my knowledgeable hubby for some advice. After a long talk the only thing that comes out is that- be sensitive to them as you don't expect them to change nor it is your job to change them. Really? This is not the general advice from my hubby in other situations then why NOW. Naturally I was not happy with the suggestion as I judge things only with logic based on facts & figures. Then I decided to go with the flow.  They arrived and as suggested by my instinct(hubby as well) I was dres...

I watched two movies in the recent past which dealt with two different present day problems. The first movie is ‘Stoning of Soraya M’ is extremely bold and emotionally disturbing. I am unable to express in words my emotional state after watching it. Some of the scenes are so bold and true and violent that I had to fast forward them. The movie is from a real life story happened in a village in Iran in 1986 after the Shah was overthrown and Islamists take over the country - where a young woman was stoned to death by her husband, father, sons and neighbors and extended families. Her abusive husband of 20 years plotted with the village head clergy and Mayor to kill her by stoning accusing her of trying to seduce another man. The only fault of that woman was that she decided against divorcing her husband which would result to death by starvation along with her two daughters. The story was licked to the world by her extremely courageous aunt to a French journalist. I think the movie is ...

In the last few days I watched some new Indian films by young directors. They all have a nice trend; fresh in ideas, practical, strong and unpretentious. I liked the fact that they strung the right chord and give a huge leap in the true direction. I have quite a big list but some I want to mention are ‘ Bhejafry ’, ‘ Wake Up Sid ’, ‘ Luck by Chance ’ and especially in the context ‘ Mixed Doubles ’, ‘ Dev D ’ and ‘Love Sex & Dhoka’. I think the last three movies are phenomenon in Indian cinema just for the naked portrayal of truth, which Hollywood has for reasonably long period now. Just for information Hollywood is considered quite novice in handling truth compared to European movies. I liked the movies just for the way they are presented, considered quiet bold in Indian perspective. I have been wondering since my adulthood (which surprisingly came very late at the age of 23) few characteristics about Indians. We are extremely hypocritical about some of our most obvious feelings...

This week is Mother’s Day . Being a new mom and a first time mom as well, Mother’s Day suddenly is interesting to me. I don’t believe in these days (including Valentine’s Day ), but this one triggers me to write a few lines about being mom. It took me lot of time to decide about the title of my writing. Will it be ‘Transformation of a Woman to a Mother’ or ‘Fulfillment of Womanhood’ or ‘ Motherhood ’ or’ Greatest Women right’. Ultimately I decided on ‘Mother’. When I was a kid I read ‘Mother’ by Maxim Gorky . I didn’t understand it much that time but I enjoyed reading it. Today when I want to write about ‘Motherhood’ I wish I can read the book once more. So, I ordered it in the local library, but I have to wait for some time to get the book. I don’t want to wait for so long and started my own version of ‘Mother’. Since my childhood, motherhood was never appealing to me. When some of my friends were discussing about dolls and about how they would love to get married and have children, I...

Nirban (Ban) is leaving ultimately. I just left him to the airport. His flight is at 9.30 pm tonight. A chilling sense of loneliness and boredom is gripping me slowly. Is it due to my feelings of seclusion or the idea of living without him, I don’t know it yet. Right now, the feelings that I will be free and all by me, is insignificant to anything else. But at the same time I am not eagerly waiting for this separation. Sometimes I am feeling that this is required to keep the relationship always ‘fresh and interesting’. On the other hand a voice inside me is telling that it may cause a rift and we may not be together again. Ban is currently very happy because he will be with his family and friends after such a long time. It was always tough for him to leave everybody for me and he hardly can answer his parents, how come he loved me and living with me, when we are not married. They will never understand the degree of compatibility we cherish. We are so satisfied with each other that we a...