The topic has been in my mind for quite some time but now I felt it is apt to disclose it. Another rape occurred in India and people are shouting for justice for the victim by suggesting capital punishment for the rapists. I am not surprised at all as ALL Indian women are raped several times either physically or by eyes or by words. Since my childhood I remember being touched, pushed, groped and fondled several times in the road/bus/train/cinema hall/book fair/auto rickshaw/taxi. I am one of the lucky few to be safe at home with relatives. I had friends from school who are physically or sexually abused by their relatives several times.
Now let me divulge the response I get when I disclosed my situation. I still remember I was very young studying in class-IV and travelling by train with my mother. One friendly gentleman offered me to sit by his side near the window in the crowded train. I was delighted by my luck but it was one of the worst assaults I endured considering my age. That man was pushing me with his elbow and constantly touching my invisible breasts and also pinching me in my thighs. I was too young and frightened to do anything other than showing discomfort. I endured it till the man get down a station before the last stop. Once we get down I tried to explain everything to my mom but she failed to believe me as according to her I am too young to understand what I am telling. But I must have complete understanding of it as I remember the whole incidence in full details even now and remember the man to be short and with moustache. That was just one of the innumerable ones I encountered all through my stay in India. I have been assaulted almost every time I went to any public place. I know this sound completely weird and insane to anyone who lived in a developed country or born as a lucky man in India. At the same I know each and every woman who is raised in any Indian city are nodding their head. I never lived in a village but definitely can swear that the situation is worse. My deduction is from the mere fact that I was abused by strangers in presence of other adults and sometimes in front of my relatives. Also I consider myself assertive and knowledgeable enough to fight for myself. If I could not save myself so many times how can I believe that the helpless shy poor woman from a Dalit community can save herself?
Once I started showing signs of puberty my mother told me to not to wear western clothes and always carry books/bags/umbrellas as a shield. No late night and never ever go out with boys. My mom also gave me several sessions on how men had so many bad intensions and only way to protect us from assaults is by avoiding getting into any confrontation. Like everything else I stopped listening to her and did what I thought I should do.
This happened when I was working. Was trying to get into an auto rickshaw around 9-9:30 pm while returning from a relative’s house with my mom. The driver declined to take us as I refused paying the extra he demanded for the late night ride. I threatened the driver to report the incidence to Police by taking his license number. He came back (rather drive reverse), stopped the car in front of us and threatened me with dire consequences like rape. He used extremely abusive language towards me and my mother in presence of lot of other adults who were standing there to catch their own mode of transportation. Not a single one opened their mouth. To my astonishment my mother apologized to the driver for my bad behavior and scolded me for displaying such unwomanly dare devil outburst.
When I shared similar situation with my brother he would just laughed telling me being too sensitive. My point here is that Indian women are taught to protect themselves either by submission or avoidance without raising any finger against the patriarchal chauvinistic men who consider women nothing more than sex objects. From childhood we are taught to be docile and subservient to men without making men felt guilty of the heinous crime like rape.
Even now after the gang-rape in Delhi one Lady Scientist from MP mentioned in a public congregation held as a protest to the rape, she would survive if she would not fight. This is the mindset which is causing a situation where one girl is raped in every 4 seconds in India. Now my obvious question is since we are not able to stop the crime why we are not changing the trend of blaming the girls and start raising boys who consider another woman as an equal human being.
